I’ve written before about loving the planet and loving animals. Today I want to focus on a different kind of love: how to love yourself. It isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most important practices we can cultivate.
I don’t claim to have perfect self-love, but I’ve learned to respect and honor myself more than I used to. Self-love is an ongoing practice. My goal is to reach a place of acceptance and genuine affection for who I am. When I withhold love for myself, I hold back my ideas and gifts. That’s true for everyone.
Seven years ago I hit a very low point. I was clinically depressed and carried intense self-loathing. I felt hopeless and had urges to end my life every day. Medication helped blunt those impulses but didn’t erase the sadness or the self-harm I’d done. Sleep was the only escape, but I was in college and couldn’t sleep my life away.
I hated looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person who stared back. I felt trapped inside my mind.
Back then, the idea of self-love felt impossible. How did I move out of that despair that lasted for years? I discovered a solitary hobby: making clothes. Learning to sew, designing garments, and modeling my creations gave me a creative outlet and a sense of accomplishment. When I returned home for summer break, my mom had rescued two puppies. Their companionship, along with our other dogs, brought real joy and helped shift my perspective.
That fall in college I kept making clothes. I still struggled with excess drinking, overcommitting, and poor sleep habits, but I also discovered the power of healthier eating. Small changes added up and a transformation began.
| Me today, jumping on my mini trampoline in the first shirt I ever made. |
Years later, I still experience occasional depression and self-criticism. The difference now is that I’ve built a foundation that allows me to treat myself with love, appreciation, and respect. I give myself permission to feel sad when I need to, while also acknowledging my strengths.
I honor my creativity, find joy in food, and take purpose from helping others thrive on a plant-based diet. My dreams and ambitions now outweigh my fears, and I draw strength from a higher power I experience as love.
I’m not an expert on self-love or depression, but here are practical steps that helped me begin the journey. If you’ve already started, I hope these ideas encourage you to celebrate your own brilliance more often.
Find what you love
Everyone has activities that make them feel alive. For me it was sewing and cooking. Those activities engaged my creativity and gave me tangible results to enjoy. Identify what lights you up and schedule it into your week. You deserve that lift.
I also love chocolate — it reliably improves my mood. Small pleasures can matter.
Appreciate yourself
Each morning or evening, write down three things you appreciate about yourself. If that’s hard, try writing from another person’s perspective — what strengths would they notice? Doing this regularly builds a habit of self-appreciation.
This is a tip I learned from my life coach Jaclyn Costello, who helped me move through difficult feelings.
Give back
Helping others reminds you of what you have to offer. Give a smile, volunteer time, support an animal in need, or donate to a cause. Don’t expect reward — the sense of purpose and renewed strength often follows naturally.
Love your body
Caring for your body is part of loving yourself. Choose foods that nourish you. For me, switching to a whole-food, plant-based diet reduced stress on my body and improved energy. When you feel better physically, you have more capacity for the things you love and for showing up for others.
I’d love to hear from you: have you started a self-love journey? What helped you, and what remains hard? What other steps would you recommend to cultivate more self-love?
Walnut Goji Berry Chocolate Truffles
By: Jenné Claiborne
You can make these truffles with homemade raw chocolate or by melting store-bought chocolate. Both options work well.
Servings: 10 truffles
Ingredients
- 1 cup raw walnuts
- ½ cup dates (Medjool dates work best)
- ¼ cup goji berries
- 2 tbsp raw cacao powder (or cocoa powder)
- a tiny pinch of sea salt
- 1 tsp minced ginger
Homemade chocolate coating
- ¼ cup cacao butter
- ⅓ cup cacao powder
- 2 tbsp coconut nectar
Or store-bought coating
- ½ cup vegan chocolate chips
Instructions
- Process the walnuts, dates, goji berries, cacao powder, ginger, and salt until blended into a medium-coarse mixture. Scoop a heaping tablespoon, form small balls, and place them on parchment paper. This should make about 9–10 balls. Reserve some crumble for topping.
- For homemade coating: melt cacao butter in a heatproof bowl over simmering water. Remove from heat, stir in cacao powder and coconut nectar until smooth. Dip each ball into the chocolate, place on parchment with a fork, and sprinkle with reserved crumble. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours to firm.
- For store-bought coating: melt chocolate chips in a bowl over simmering water or in the microwave. Coat each ball, place on parchment, sprinkle with crumble, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours to set.
Like this recipe? Rate and comment below!
Happy Valentine’s Day!