There’s a beautiful scripture from Psalm 119:133: “Order my steps in thy word; and let not any inequity have dominion over me.”
I’m not a particularly religious person—never have been—unless you count a week in childhood when I came back from Christian day camp and set up a whiteboard to teach my parents about God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost.
Still, that verse has always resonated with me. I seek meaning in my choices and often follow my heart, even when it leads down unconventional paths. I studied acting in college despite warnings from my parents. I chose a performance art BFA over a traditional acting degree because it allowed a semester abroad in Madrid rather than London. When my passion for acting faded, I let it go and made space for a growing love of food. Now I find myself wanting something new and mentally stimulating: should I go back to school? What would I study? Could I balance a new interest with my current career? Or do I simply need a change of scenery?
Those answers aren’t clear yet.
The past few months have been among the hardest of my life, and also strangely clarifying. They pushed me toward appreciating simplicity. My anxieties still surface, but sometimes they dissolve into moments of calm. Awareness and presence arrive — sometimes the clouds part and I can relax.
